just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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