don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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