i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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