i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You don't make any sense
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