I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
