did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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