im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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