i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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