i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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