There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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