Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
