I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It was confusing and full of hummus
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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