yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
