Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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