he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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