walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
