In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Semen is not good for contacts.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
