Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
