Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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