the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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