i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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