tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
