But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
