If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
