LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
