Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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