Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
