I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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