Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i now understand why vodka
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize