even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize