I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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