He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
