just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
