i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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