my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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