Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
pop tarts are not kleenex
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize