why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
