I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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