Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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