He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
