Porn is love you can see.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
