I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
