You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
