Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
