i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Houston, we have a blender
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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