This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
