Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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