i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
