Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
