You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
