I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
