He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
