Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
