Where is the hickey?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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