Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
