I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
