Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
