He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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