I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
