The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
