She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize