I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
