you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize