he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize